Momma goes back to work after maternity leave

Ever since my son Nico was born I have been with him. I have gotten thrown up on, peed on, pooped on, and spit on since day one. It has been worth every moment just to be with him. He is 3 months old and a happy baby. Like most babies he smiles a lot, he uses his hands (by pulling my hair), he talks all day in his baby language, loves to look at his surroundings, wants to be held, and he is a loved baby. All was perfect in our little bubble or love and joy until reality popped the bubble.

The day I dreaded has come where I must go back to work and leave him. As a first-time mom this was one of the hardest and most emotional days I've had since I gave birth. This was even harder than my labor and delivery. Knowing that I won't see that beautiful smile all day was heartbreaking. Most people think that i am being dramatic, but the truth is I'm being a mom.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant I tried to prepare myself for my new life in motherhood. I read many baby books, took several classes, did the hospital tour, walked as much as possible, set up his nursery, went to my doctors' appointments, and nested as much as possible. I talked to my job and took as much time possible to spend with him. However, I was not prepared to leave him. Of course, I tried to plan out since I was pregnant who will take care of Nico when I go back to work. I do not have enough savings to quit my job and take care of him and Daddy is building his career and doesn't make enough to support us without living paycheck by paycheck.

I looked into several daycare programs and they have many educational benefits for children. My only problem is that many of these programs have you leave the babies 5 days a week for 8 hours. Daddy gets off before me most of the time so this did not work for us. I have nothing against daycare but I would feel more comfortable if he was at least two or three years old. Deep down I really wanted Nico to get raised by family. I talked to the grandparents and we agreed to make a crazy schedule. My mother would watch him 2 times a week, Daddy would watch him 2 days a week and my mother in law would watch him one day. We FINALLY found a schedule and I was comfortable knowing the baby was in good hands. I was still upset to leave him even though I know he is safe. So I told myself I am doing this for our family. Here are a few things I told myself.

Not being with my son 24 hours a day does not make me a bad mom

Working will help me buy all my son wants and needs

Socializing with other adults helps me keep my sanity

Daddy has my back no matter what

All moms are different when it comes to emotions

My son loves me no matter what and I am doing what's best for him

All moms have a different story and emotions when it comes to working. If you went back or quit to be with your child just remember this, YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB AND YOU ARE APPRECIATED.

#workingmom #famil #feelings #strongmom